Celebrate You!

It has taken me quite a few weeks to fully process turning 40!

My birthday was September 10th...but it has been a celebration encompassing the entire month of September! 

As I sit here at the close of this month and realizing that it is time to turn off the "Jeannine Show" and go back to dealing with reality I just have to comment on some of the wonderful times that I have had this month.

Starting on Aug 31st with my mother's birthday lunch. 

There was the Sept 3rd Nelly Furtado concert/Chicago Singles night at Ravinia

While Nelly Furtado was not the greatest artist to hear live...and while it was crazy cold that night...it was one of the most funnest nights, hanging with friends, talking, downing cocoa with Baileys and "Chillin'" (quite literally) on what we have come to dub as Ravinia Island

The 5th saw a great time at a housewarming for a lovely couple and a night watching "Chicago" on the Terrace of the Conrad Hotel.  the Cocktails there were fabulous!

My actual birthday was one of those completely unplanned, unscheduled days that turned out to be "perfect" in terms of balance of family, friends and good fun.

Got lovely surprise birthday brownie from a work coworker

Went to hang out with my family and we had birthday pizza

Met my BFF at my favorite cupcake restaurant and had some great cupcakes

Met another friend for a happy hour at a great spot in Lincoln Park

Finished the night watching a beautiful movie ("Eat, Pray, Love" - even if you hate Julia Roberts go see it for the beautiful shots of Italy and Bali).   All in all a fabulous day!

On the 12th I did a 5K with my mom...now I have been doing 5Ks, half-marathons, and triathlons for a while and recently had lost some of my desire to do races but it was her first experience and seeing the experience through the eyes of a newbie re energized my own commitment to training and made me think about some great goals for this upcoming training year. 

Later that night we kicked off my dear friend's Late Summer Terrace tour back at the Conrad to watch "My Best Friend's Wedding".  it was great hanging with friends, and eating delicious food and drink

The whole terrace tour was GREAT!!  We went to Trump Tower, The Park Hyatt, and the Peninsula and I as always was reminded exactly why I love Chicago so much.  I mean when you have views like this

And of course the culmination was my Fabulous Fortieth Birthday Weekend Extravaganza:
Weekend at the Peninsula
Friday at the spa, Friday night on the terrace and in the bar
Spectacular party on Saturday
And Reception after church on Sunday.

It was like the most perfect weekend~!!!....EVER!!!

Since then I have closed the month out with dinners with friends, cocktails with friends...LOTS of good time.  So here I stand at the end of the month, my waistline a bit worse for the wear, and my liver hurting from all the different variations of alcohol I have consumed...but I wouldn't change a thing.  This has been one of the best months I have EVER had in my life!  And more importantly I feel recharged, fired up and READY to take on the next phase of my life. 

So why do I bring all this up?   It is not to brag or boast or go lookie, lookie at what I did (okay...maybe a little on that one) but it is to bring up a point...You have to learn to CELEBRATE YOU!!!

As women (and black women in particular) we tend to spend all our times dealing with the needs of others...our co-workers, our spouses, our kids, our other family members.  People are always asking us to do things, take care of things , care for things and Fix things.  Women are taught not to complain, to please other people and that it is wrong to put yourself first for anything.  As a result of that, you can spend your entire life "doing" instead of just "being".  You can end up spent and exhausted, and tired and while your life, job, husbands, kids and family members will be better for all your activity you will be MUCH worse off.  Now I am not suggesting you kick all those other things to the curb, they are important and add value to your life.  I am simply encouraging you to occasionally take some time to celebrate and honor yourself.    Whether that is with a day at the spa, a weekend getaway, or a long, ridiculously expensive birthday celebration (guilty)...you have to find a way to be your own best cheerleader.  It gives you that extra fuel to energize all the other aspects of your life and the energy to make things better not only for yourself but for all those around you.

So even if it is just a small detour on the way home to a favorite bakery to have that secret cupcake or buying some fresh flowers simply because you love the smell or heck buying your favorite lipstick at the MAC counter.  Do something today to celebrate you...your life and the lives of those around you will be much better for it!

Pictures from my 40th Bday party

Just a few snapshots from my party on Sept 18th

I'm Forty Years Old!

I just turned FORTY!!!....The Big 4-0!

I think for a lot of people, that would be a sad thing...but quite to the contrary this has been such a joyful experience for me.  I was never one of those women who had fears about getting older.  Frankly the women in my family (on both sides) age exceptionally well:
Exhibit A - my maternal Grandmother

I believe that was taken on her 79th or 80th birthday

Exhibit B - my mother and my paternal aunt (AKA Jazzy Aunt Liz)

I wont give out either my mother's or my Aunt Liz's ages...but let's just say my dad who was 61 at the time...was the youngest "adult" there and in the case of his big sis, my aunt liz...by quite a few years

I originally started this blog as a countdown to turning 40. 

I had grand plans...losing 40lbs before my birthday, blogging daily (okay at least weekly), and having some major transformative, enlightened experience before September 10, 2010. 

Well guess what...none of those things happened.  I didn't lose 40lbs (although I am down a solid 8 and thanks to triathalon training and my haphazard experimentation with P90X a LOT stronger), I didn't blog every day (or even every week...heck I have abandoned this blog for months...I'm beginning to think I have adult ADD...I lose interest in things so quickly...do you think I could write myself a perscription for some ADDERAL??....oooooo look at the pretty flower...wait a minute...what were we talking about), and I did not have any major transformative, enlightened experience (unless you want to count the almost heatstroke hallucinations I had doing the Triathlon a few weeks ago where I was quite literally talking to Jesus).  And I thought I would be hard on myself about missing these goals (as a perfectionist Virgo is likely to do)  but I was in the BEST mood when I woke up (even though I was at work) for my birthday. 

I guess ultimately I am happy because I am still here and still able to celebrate my life and share God's love with those around me.  I have had way too many (okay only 5...but that seems like such a lot) of my former classmates check out way too early and I guess thinking about them and having their deaths touch my life has given me a completely new perspective.  We TRULY need to learn to live in the moment since no day or magical age is promised to us.  The friends I have lost have taught me to hold on to, to celebrate and to cherish the friends and family I have that much more.  And I have learned to live fully in the PRESENT moment that God has blessed me to have and be content with what I have (like in Philipians 4:13).

I have a big wang dang doodle fancy smancy birthday party/celebration scheduled for next weekend...but I had the best time today doing very simple and mostly unplanned things.  A surprise birthday brownie from a thoughtful co-worker, a spontaneous Happy Birthday seranade by my family followed by a slice of Birthday Pizza (I know...I am back to occasional dairy..what can I say everyone has a weakness...mine happens to be cheese); Feeling like a kid by sitting on the swings at Molly's my favorite cupcake place and enjoying a cupcake (or two) with my BFF Kara, puttering around on my deck tending to my flowers and vegetables, feeding the ducks and watching the sunset, meeting another friend at a happy hour to hang for a while, and finally seeing a wonderful movie by myself (taking in a movie solo is one of life's great joys...try it if you don't believe me).  All of these individually were simple minor things but taken together it made for a day that was sheer perfection. 

I am so looking forward to the joy and wisdom that this year will bring.  And I will try to share some of that with you over the next 12 months.  Now I am not promising I will write every day or even every week...but I will try to not completely abandon this blog and check in every now and then.

So that's right 40...I'm here...I'm happy and I truly am FABULOUS!!

A refugee from the Diet wars

So Let's be clear...i am in recovery.

From what you may ask?

DIETS!!!

I have always been on the chunky side.

Even when I was a tot of 2 or 3 (which is how old I am in that picture)...I was a big kid. Not Fat just a bigger kid. Now anyone who has ever met my mother knows that she is decidely not big. My mom was (and frankly still is) pretty thin. Now here is the problem when a naturally thin person has a child who is naturally chunky...there is a severe disconnect between food and body image/size that can develop.  My mom was one of those people who could (and did) eat whatever she wanted without gaining an ounce me on the other hand could seemingy gain weight just by thinking about food. 

My mother (because she never had to) didn't know how to teach me how to have an appropriate relationship with food...her answer was to put me on a DIET.   Believe it or not I went (or was put) on my first diet when I was 6.  Since then I have been on every diet imaginable :  Weight Watchers (8 times), Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem, Atkins, South Beach, The Hot Dog diet,  the grapefruit diet, the Cabbage Soup diet, and on and on.  I have even had some successes losing up to 40-50 pounds BUT each time after I stopped the diet and went back to my old ways I have seemed to gain back what I lost and then some. 

Complicating the issue is the fact that I love food!  The culture and stories behind it.  I watch the food network incessantly because it fascinates me.  I love trying new restaurants.  I love to cook! (and yes I am good at it)  I love the creativity and versatility of cooking.  If I wasn't a doctor...I would be a chef! (and frankly I still may go to culinary school).  I love to make food for my friends...I even like preparing family dinners...and after a hard day or when I am stressed out there is nothing more relaxing than baking something (especially bread...cause kneading gets rid of a ton of stress).  So it has really been a struggle to deal with my love for food...and my "hate" of food that has subconsciously developed from my decades spent Dieting.

But no more. 

A "DIET" is not the answer.  I have realized that whatever dietary changes I make, have to be like my comittment to activity... sustainable on a permanent basis and they must fit into my lifestyle.  So I have decided to say no to "Diets" and yes to embracing a more wholistic lifestyle and thinking about what I put in my body.  I recently have developed a passion for urban gardening (cause let's face it there is notihing better than a fresh ripe tomato off the vine.  I appreciate the sweetiness and textures and tastes of fruit of all kinds.  I am learning to enjoy the differences and textures of vegetables (some of which I had never before considered eating...like the sunchokes I had last week) and to focus my diet on other protein sources besides meat (quinoa and tofu are my new favorites...I think I am becoming as one would call it a flexitarian).  I have learned that no individual food is bad...I just have to limit what I have and mind my portion (you know and just eat one brownie instead of the whole pan).  That I can balance what I eat (you know if I have a cray heavy lunch...then lighter for dinner).

So as I work towards my goal for my 40th Birthday...I am really trying to embrace my new relationship with food and remain a permanent refugee from the diet wars.

Wish me luck!

 

40 by 40!

Okay I started this blog on my birthday back in September to document my journey to my 40th year. 
(yes for all my classmates who are wondering...I skipped a grade back in the day..so yes I have a whole 7months left before I join the "club")

But then I got to thinking...do I really want to advertise this?   Is this something I want to discuss?  Do I want to put myself out there like that?  As I am a pretty private person, my initial thought was a resounding NO...so I kinda dropped it and never mentioned the blog's existence...of course I didn't delete it.  So now after some more thought I have decided to bring it back.  Not because I enjoy putting my life out there...but because I have decided one of the things I need is more ACCOUNTABILITY with my goals.  Having been encouraged by my neighbor Mike's blog and my SNMA buddy Tyese...I recognize the value in putting your goals out there so there is some sense of increased accountability on your part.

So in that vein I am sharing one of my BIG (no pun intended) goals to achieve prior to my 40th Birthday

I plan to lose 40 pounds before I turn 40. 

so for all of you who will be keeping track...that is a little over 7months to lose 40 lbs...a little less than 6lbs a month. 
I chose a modest and achievable goal...as I am looking at long term weight loss for my health's sake...not vanity so i didn't want to lose more than 1-2lbs a week something I feel is sustainable and achievalble. (yes I believe that is called a SMART goal)

There I said it...it is out there now I can't take it back...I have to begin to work on it.  Cause I am sure all my online buddies will help keep me honest

Whew!...glad that is off my chest

And now that my home gym setup is complete with the addition of my bike trainer (although I am still trying to figure out how to get my bike on there) and my kettleworx DVDs (because I do soooo love kettlebell workouts) that just arrived today I am set! 

So stay tuned...more details about how I will work towards this minor miracle tomorrow.

Peace, Health and Blessings

Jeannine

Why is Forty....Fabulous?

As I am recovering from yet another friend's truly Fabulous Forty Birthday celebration last weekend I am wondering...what is it that makes "40" such a significant year? 

Some people FEAR the age of forty as it is signal that they have (statistically speaking anyway) fewer days ahead of them than they have behind them.  40 also seems to be the time that you are truly become an "ADULT" you may be able to claim that earlier but by the time you are 40 people don't even put the young in front of the adult...you are quite simply GROWN!!  With the achievement of the 4th decade, there is also the big fear that your days of youthful indescretion lie behind you.  You have responsibilities...you need to start thinking (seriously) about 401Ks, pensions and the likely lack of social security checks for our generation.  And if you have a family you are likely dealing with impending adolescence of your kids and (UGH) figuring out how you will pay for their college education.  There are mortgages (maybe at this point of a multiple nature), a mountain of bills and worry on every hand. 

To me this is not a bad thing.  I have always felt like an "old soul" trapped in a younger body so I actually look forward to my chronologic age catching up with my spiritual and emotional age. Forty to me is fabulous because it is when you reach that level of comfort with yourself and your relationship to the world around you.  By 40 you hopefully have:
-   figured out who your REAL friends are.
-  found a spiritual center
-   made peace with your parents and your childhood (however happy or unhappy they were)
-  made a BUNCH of mistakes
-  recovered from said mistakes and realized that is how you learn
-  Been in Love!
-  had your heart broken
-  experienced great loss
-  experienced an amazing accomplishment
-  laughed until you peed
-  been somewhere amazing that took your breath away

I have had many of the experiences above...and in this last year as I march up towards 40 I want to figure out what experiences I want and how I want my life to be going forward.  Unlike a lot of my friends I am truly looking forward to being fabulous and 40...I feel it will be the birth of the real me!

Happy Birthday to me!

Yes, I am enjoying the last few minutes of my 39th birthday. 

39!!....but not 40 like the majority of my friends celebrated this year. 

Despite being a proud member of the St. Ignatius College Prep class of '87 and Princeton class of '91.  I was not born in the "summer of Love" (although likely conceived shortly thereafter).  Thanks to my general smart-aleck nature and a decent dose of genetic smarts I skipped a grade many moons ago so for my whole academic life I have been at least a year younger than the majority of my classmates and friends.  This was mostly an embarassment and something I hid...I didn't have a sweet sixteen party because I didn't want to call attention to the fact I was younger and of course everyone had already had these fabluous parties the year before.  I didn't get a driver's license until senior year despite having taken driver's ed my sophomore year.  I was not allowed to offically date until senior year why because it was the ironclad rule in my house growing up that you couldn't date (or wear makeup for that matter) until you were 16....although I managed to skirt this rule to go to Junior Ring Dance.  Didn't vote in an election until my sophmore year in college and of course managed to have a college diploma and still be several months shy of legal drinking age.  Being able to tell people I finished college at 20 makes me seem like a genius... even if it is more of a fluke than anything else.  The bottom line is that over the years my age (relative to my peers) has been both a blessing and a curse...something to be sad about and bemoan when it prevented me from doing something and also something that I thought was extremely cool. 

Well this blog is about that.  I have watched all my friends this year reasses their lives as they approach the 40 milestone.  I even had one friend who suffered a fatal attack on her 40th birthday and subsequently passed away a few days later.  I count it as a blessing to have a whole year to think about turning 40 not to mention it is nice to have a whole year to plan a party.  So this blog is my birthday gift to myself...a way to chronicle how I change this year...what goals I want to set for myself...what plans I want to institute going forward.  I am looking forward to the second half of my life being even more amazing than the first and to go on an amazing journey you've gotta have a plan...or at least think about it long enough so that the path become clear. 

Join me in my year of exploration!!